Paternity Leave
I started my paternity leave on 9-27-24, a day before my 40th birthday. Technically baby girl was not yet born. My wife was scheduled for a c-section on 10-04-24. I decided to use up some of my vacation time before it expired but also to prepare for the big change in our lives before my little girl arrived.
I'm really loving my time off work right now (8 weeks as of this writing). I'm so happy to be spending time with my baby, Sophia. She's turning 7 weeks old tomorrow. This dedicated, uninterrupted time off work is allowing me to deeply bond with Sophia. Newborns demand a lot and I can't imagine my wife handling it all if I didn't have 4 full months of paternity leave. I’m fully aware I am fortunate to get this amount of time off and for that I’m grateful to my employer and their belief in allowing parents to connect and develop their children.
For the first 4 weeks of Sophia's life, my MIL stayed at our home and helped us with many aspects of caring for Sophia, changing diapers, feeding or taking a watch-her-sleep shift but the most helpful contribution was cooking full, healthy, delicious meals. Even though my wife and I had the extra help, we were fully responsible and had the majority of the caring for Sophia.
Winding down for the night routine and getting through the night was probably the hardest for my wife and I. Sophia latched on to the breast immediately after she was born at the hospital, we were grateful. That meant my wife was on the hook for the feeding (the input) and I was on the hook for diaper changes and burping (the outputs). Fresh newborns for the first couple weeks feed and poop around the clock, literally every 2hrs sometimes it was every hour. That made the daytime routine, which consisted of the same input and outputs tougher while the body and mind adjusted to the sleepless nights.
During these first 4 weeks I made sure I was fully present for Sophia's care but more importantly I was present to connect with her while she grew and developed.
During the day Sophia slept for 1-2hrs spans. It was during some of these sleep breaks where I was able to start tackling my paternity "tech" and "non-tech" projects/tasks. Before Sophia's birth I had created a poor man's version of a kanban board using github's Projects feature. It definitely is not intended for this purpose but I was able to create swim lanes and cards to start listing out what I wanted to get done or start exploring. I might share the github project that I named, "Paternity Leave" in the near future.
The kanban board listed personal tasks like home DYI projects, or personal finance items I've been postponing, books to read, and a tech backlog of things to explore. The board is pretty busy with both tech and personal items, and slowly getting worked and items completed.
Before I continue further with the Paternity Projects, I want to also mention I created a plan to reset and start a workout routine in the home garage gym I've built since relocating to Georgia. I'm using Sophia's sleep breaks to fit in workouts as well. I'm now 40 and my health is not as good as when I was in my 20's. Already my wellness screening results show certain numbers slightly on the higher side. Therefore, I will reconnect with my fitness passion to be healthier and fit, not just for me but for Sophia and my wife. I want to be strong and capable of keeping up with my daughter when she is ready to run around in the park or get into sports where I can be alongside her showing her my moves. I digress for now. I'll likely write a few posts about my fitness journey and home gym from time to time.
Even though I am removed from my job responsibilities and one would assume there is a lot of free time to do things aside from parenting a newborn, the reality is taking care of a newborn is mentally exhausting. At least these first few weeks. There have been times I want to get on the computer and research or build something and all my mind wants to do is rest.
Immediately after my MIL left us, on 11-03, my mother flew in from NY to continue the help for 10 days. She arrived 11-04 and returned 11-14. My mother provided similar help, cooking when possible. Taking blocks of shifts throughout the day to care for Sophia.
The help from our moms was amazing and we’re super grateful. My wife and I were also ready to experience being alone with Sophia and figuring out a routine between the two of us.
That’s where we are now. It’s 11-21 and we’ve been without our mom’s help (one lives 2hrs away, the other is in a different state). My wife and I are handling it pretty well in my opinion. We take turns feeding, now Sophia takes more bottle since my wife has been pumping. Essentially, we share the responsibility to do what Sophia needs from us at this age.
I’ll post a separate entry about how the transformation to Dad is going and more about who Sophia is becoming.
Now that I’m 8 weeks into paternity leave, and my wife and I are alone with a semi-figured routine, I’m aiming to jump into more learning and projects for the remaining 8 weeks.
Stay tuned for content on tech, finance, fitness and dad life.